Don’t have an abandoned warehouse / factory / power station nearby? No problem. Here at Sydney DJ School we have a few tricks and tips up our sleeve that will bring Tresor, Printworks and Berghain straight to your doorstep.
Having a techno den simply means having a really cold, eerie, abandoned and industrial place to listen to “untz untz” beats until 9am in the morning. You may not have an post Cold-War abandoned facility to use (unless you live in Marrickville or near Carriageworks), but you must have some really old garage, school or abandoned place deep in techno whoop whoop.
Go to the industrial districts near your place and find one that fits the aforementioned techno credentials. Heck, you can even slightly clean out your garage, basement or even local gymnasium (the older and more abandoned the better) and you are on your way to booking Solomun and Nina Kraviz to your event.
Remember, the venue is a desolate, abandoned post Cold-War facility, so you don’t need any. Unless you need more rust, milk crates or cobwebs, you’re good to go. IMPORTANT: Remember to check for asbestos though. That stuff is not techno.
Even though the facility may have lighting, it’s probably best to bring your own lighting. Keep your strobe lights cold, colourless and really flashy and have some floodlights in the corner. The facility may be so abandoned that there is no power supply, no worries, just borrow a mates generator.
This is key in holding the centre of your techno hungry punters. Have multiple video loops of ironic but edgy industrial production clips, post Cold-War ads, Monty Python, Andy Warhol stuff and a juxtaposing clip of a modern insurance ad to engage the Youtube generation.
The beauty of post-Cold War industrial music is that it was mostly from old speakers connected by unbalanced audio cabling. This gives you that authentic “static” & “fuzz” that will bring you back in time with the era. You can however, go with the conventional route and just use modern PAs and MP3s, and let the techno untz untz do the rest.
Now, for the promo. Wait, there wouldn’t be any because that would ruin the underground vibe and bring in the posers. Word of mouth is king, tell your edgy friends about this abandoned warehouse party and say the magic word of “techno”.
There you have it, techno is a magical genre in itself, but complementing it with a proper setting is key.
This article is a satirical piece and should or should not be taken seriously.
Inspired by Mixmag: